I Swore I’d Never Be “That” Woman

I think that I have finally come to that point in my struggle with infertility and TCC that I would never come to.

Last week yet another friend had a baby. Yes, that is 3 births for people close to me since Two and I started TTC. I realized today as I tried to dodge the phone that Two  was trying to hand me to say congrats that I hate this woman. I hate her for being my age and getting knocked up by mistake during a glorified one night stand. I hate her for never wanting children, but not having the guts to abort when she found out that she was pregnant, and I hate her for saying to me today that she has never been the “maternal type”. The worst part of all? Coming to the realization that I hate myself, not for hating her, but for not being able to have my own child.